:: zut alors

Doesn't time fly, etc. Here we are on our last day in Paris, already! Well, not quite our last - we come back for one night before flying to London.

The undoubted highlight was the Segway tour: man that was so much fun! It's a machine designed to make you look like a pure dork, but in fact they are great to ride. To go forward you just lean forward - and suddenly you're gliding along with a very quiet hum. Lean back and you stop, and then go backwards. Twist the little control and you spin round on the spot.

There were nine of us on the tour, I think, plus the two guides. First we did some training, then we headed off down the street. Not only was it cool fun riding the things, but it was lots of fun watching people's reactions. Mostly it was gob-smacked amazement, amusement and envy: what is that thing? Where can I get one? There was a little bit of scorn, but not much, considering what idiots we looked. Pinky and I were great at marketing the Segway, passing out brochures and urging everyone to take a tour.

The guides were a hoot too: the firm that does the tours is based in Texas, and most of its employees are young Texan dudes. (There was a bumper sticker in the office saying "Texas is bigger than France".) I say "dudes" because they all talked exactly like Bob and Ted, and their sense of history was pretty Bob and Ted too. The French Revolution was like, awesome? They like, cut the king's head totally off? Right here where we're standing? They were such cute guides though. Explaining that the Louvre was originally a fort built to protect the city against the Vikings, Daniela said: "Before I came here I didn't even realise the Vikings like, actually existed? But they did, and they were like, totally hassling the Pareeshuns?" Dude.

We've also been to the Pere Lachaise cemetary (where I fell over and cut my hand, wah!), Sacre Coeure and Montmartre, Musee d'Orsay (pinky), Arc de Triomphe (me) and have eaten huge quantities of excellent french bread and cheese, and plenty of cakes. Pinky has bought TWO handbags, really classy ones.

We're off to Bordeaux on the train tomorrow, then heading out into the French countryside in a hired voiture. We may or may not go to Spain; we'll see how we feel. Then back to Paris on 10 October and to London on the 11th.

It's been lovely having this flat, we will really miss it. It's on Rue de Seine in St Germaine des Pres, quite a snooty and artistic area - lots of galleries and chic shops - but also interesting and quirky.

:: bye-bye, ozzy

He's gone! Hurrah. Bertie is mightily relieved and has allowed his previously immaculately good behaviour to slip back to pre-Ozzy levels. I don't care, I'm happy to be able to sleep all night for a change.

Here are some cute photos of the pair of them:


I have no idea how much either of them ate during the week, because they kept eating each other's food. I put Bertie's dishes up on a box, but Ozzy didn't find that much of a challenge.


They look similar in size in that shot, but this one shows the difference better: Ozzy can walk underneath Bertie without touching. This was taken on a walk at Blackness (Blackness Castle is in the background).


Ozzy is much smarter than Bertie: he still set off down to the water for a drink, but quickly turned back when he found the seaweed was all slippery and nasty-smelling.

:: double trouble

Memo to self: Don't even think about getting another dog. One is plenty.

Actually Ozzy's been pretty good: he sleeps late and hasn't barked too much. But every expedition is fraught with complications: try keeping two excited dogs calm while you're trying to pick up poo! Also there's a problem at feeding time. Ozzy prefers Bertie's food and Bertie prefers Ozzy's, so we have a wee terrier eating out of a giant bowl and a big greyhound stooping to empty a tiny saucer. Today Ozzy brazenly stole Bertie's treasured Jumbone literally from under his nose: he nipped in and snatched it away. Bertie just looked glum, he didn't even growl, bless him.

One night we had high drama: as a treat on the late-night walk, I let Bertie off the lead in the big field under the bridge. Fine. But then I fumbled Ozzy's lead and dropped it. And he vanished. Trailing the big plastic lead reel. Aieee! Bertie's easy to see at night, being large and white. But Ozzy's small and dark, invisible at night. It was half an hour and much calling and whistling before I heard a little whimper from the thicket. I had to crawl under hawthorns and through brambles to reach him, and then untangle the lead. All doubled over, in the pitch dark. I was terrified I'd lost him - imagine that.

More dog news: I found Bertie's entry on the greyhound data website. He came second in two races! Awwww. And then second last, and finally - last. Oops.

Work's very busy, as per usual. I can't wait for my holidays! It'll be great to get away.

:: countdown

Only a couple of weeks to go before I'm on holiday! Wheee!

Tomorrow I collect Oz, who's staying with me for a week while his people are on holiday. I'm slightly nervous about what he and Bertie might get up to while I'm at work. Bertie just sleeps the whole time I'm away, but Oz is a busy little chap. Hmm.

:: Fizzling

Every now and then I go through a patch where Things Break Down. I've been in such a patch for a while now. First there was the car -- new ignition, new starter motor, and not too long after I'd spent a few hundred pounds getting it through its MoT (WoF). Then there's the garden tap -- sudden total failure of the washer, something I must get seen to before I go on holiday (in case there's an early frost and a repeat of the Great Flood of 2000/2001).

In the study things are not going well either. My printer's ink tank ran dry not long after being installed. Reconditioned and bought on the cheap, a classic case of false economy. I got a new one by mail order. The firm sent the wrong one. Cue long battle to get a replacement. Eventually it transpired that they're out of stock. Sigh. Cue long battle to get my money back.

Meanwhile, I succumbed to temptation and bought a portable digital radio. It arrived quickly, it was fabulous! One slight problem -- the volume went up to maximum at random. Alarming with earphones and probably dangerous. Cue long battle to get replacement. Eventually it transpired that they're out of stock. Sigh. Cue long battle to get my money back.

Now it's my computer. I bought a new printer -- which is fabulous and more importantly works -- but for some mysterious reason my computer now "hangs" during bootup for five minutes or more. It goes all right once it's booted, but something's wrong somewhere.

In other news, I've just had four days off in a row. Very relaxing and enjoyable. Yesterday the weather was stunning so I threw Bertie in the car and drove to Tentsmuir Forest. Lots of people were there walking and picnicking and sunbathing (no-one was swimming -- it's the North Sea, after all!) but it's such a big area it didn't feel crowded at all.

Back to work today. I also have a meeting with the boss to talk about my pay rise. Wish me luck!

:: picture show

A great year for raspberries; the garlic and gooseberries weren't bad either.


Not raspberry jam (though I did make two batches from my own fruit), it's blackcurrant, using fruit from Chad's allotment. Yum.


Pic from the day Faye and I walked along the canal path from Ratho.





These are from the day Bertie got thirsty down at the marina and thought "Well there's all that water down there..." It's a steep seawall, slippery with seaweed, and I was terrified he was going to break a leg. Or drown. He thought the floating seaweed was solid ground and kept trying to climb on to it. Oh, and the water tasted funny, apparently.


Also a bumper year for wasps. This hole is on a path at Blackness.



The grand parade on Ferry Fair Saturday. Bertie stuck it out for the pipe band and one brass band, which is not bad going for him.


The weather has been ridiculously bad -- this was also during Ferry Fair week. That's a fun fair down there, next to the historic Forth Bridge! Tourists still flocked to stare at the visible bits of bridge and listen to the trains rumble over. Poor devils.


Great year for mushrooms. I picked some little puffballs recently and had them for lunch. Not bad, though not very mushroomy.


Furniture turns up in the oddest places.

:: rain rain

It's been raining and miserable for what seems like weeks -- culminating in a mudslide that blocked the main road north for more than a day -- but finally there are signs of a change. This afternoon the sun came out, hurrah! The garden's a jungle, so that's a priority for tomorrow (ie later today; it's just gone midnight), but it's also Ferry Fair day, with a parade, the crowning of the queen and a re-enactment of Queen Margaret's trip across the firth, so I'll have to make an effort and get up early.

Work is going to be all-consuming for a while: I should be off on Sunday and Monday as well, but I'll be working. I'm taking Wednesday off, I think. However, the good news is that I'm getting a promotion, and hopefully a decent pay rise to go with it.

I need a slight cash boost at the moment too: the car broke down on Sunday and it cost £230 for a new ignition and starter motor. On my way to work I noticed the electrics weren't working, and once I got there it wouldn't start again. The breakdown service towed me back home at the end of my shift, and I was a few very rainy days without wheels, including my day off. It would be nice to replace it with a newer car, but with all my extravagant travel plans that's not really on the cards.

I'd better get back to my work. I'll post a few pics tomorrow. Honest!

:: no lights

My car has thrown a wobbly, and I suspect it may be down to the haar. Driving in to work this afternoon I quickly noticed that the electrics weren't working. No indicators, no radio. Alarmingly, when I put my foot on the brakes, the battery warming lamp comes on and the petrol guage suddenly drops to zero! I stopped at the nearest petrol station and checked the water and oil, topped them both up, and drove on. I was running late and I'd left my phone at home - stoopid or what.

I managed to get to work in one piece - though there was a heart-pounding moment at some traffic lights when I realised that the terrible racket I could hear was coming from my car. I thought I'd better pull over and investigate, but I barely touched the key in the ignition and the noise stopped. On reflection it was the same kind of racket you get if you accidentally turn the key when the engine's running, which leads me to suspect some kind of electrical shorting-out. Hence my suspicion of the fog, which has been particularly thick over the past couple of days. This afternoon it was also windy.

If there are still no electrics when it's time to leave for home at 1am I'll call the Green Flag man and get him to sort it. Can't drive home without the radio!!

The fog is amazing. Yesterday and today both the bridges were completely invisible. The poor tourists still flocked to look at them -- they ended up listening to trains rumbling overhead. All you could see was the bit of pier behind the Hawes Inn.

:: now what'll I watch?

Big Brother is over, wah! Nadia the Portuguese transsexual won, Oh my GAAAHD! as she said several million times. I've been very brave and come out as a BB fan at work. Everyone here is extremely sniffy about it -- but then they don't watch it, so what would they know?

I love The Onion so much: it never fails to make me laugh.

Back in real life, the weather's been rubbish, muggy and misty. The fog does offer spectacular visual effects on the river: one night all you could see of the Forth Bridge were the floodlit piers; the whole upper structure was just airbrushed out.
There has also been a lot of very heavy rain, so the lawn is growing rank and lanky again, and the weeds are prospering. Almost all the fruit is finished. There are still blackcurrants ripening, but I'm leaving those for the birds. There aren't enough for jam -- I went to a friend's allotment last week and picked enough for ten jars, yum. I wish I'd made more raspberry jam, it really is delicious, and very easy to make.

Planning for Pinky's trip is advancing: it's very exciting when it gets down to choosing what kind of car to hire and looking at hotel websites. I want to leave as much flexibility as possible so we can respond to local conditions etc, but you can get good bargains on the internet. I've got some guidebooks too.

Time I did some work.

:: bertie goes awol

On today's walk I was distracted by Taffy's long-winded dissertation on how he could manage to insulate his static caravan, and Bertie took the opportunity to have another go at finding the black and white cat that lives up The Forbidden Path. There's a gate at the top of the path, but there's also a gap at the side of the gate just wide enough for a skinny greyhound to slither through.

Once I'd whistled and yelled long enough I stumped off up the path myself in pursuit. Through the gate is a little private lane for a row of railway cottages. At the gate of one of the cottages was a woman I'd met before. "Are you looking for Bertie?" she asked. "He's out the back. Just come on through my house."

So, carrying my bulging black binbag and litter-picker (it was a working walk), I walked through the back door, down the passage, through the livingroom, greeting the grandchildren as I went, out the front door, across the garden (large rabbit looking nervously out from hutch) and out the front gate. No sign of Bertie.

I called and whistled and yelled and he hove into view. But then he caught more cat-scent and was off down someone else's garden path. More yelling later and I finally had him collared. So that's another section of the walk where he has to be leashed now.

I've been very busy lately, doing all kinds of dull and domestic things, and a few more interesting things. Which I may write about later on. Right now I'm off home.

:: I am still alive

I just haven't had time to write anything -- it's all I can do to keep up with emailing.

Faye's been here for nearly two weeks, in between jobs. She whizzed up to Arran for a couple of days -- it's a great place to visit, with really varied scenery, and not far to drive.

I still don't have time to write much! But I will make an effort over the next few days.

:: bookings

Last night I got busy with planning the great expedition of Sept-Oct 2004: Edinburgh to Paris to Bordeaux to Biarritz to San Sebastian to Bilbao and back again, via London. The plan is for me to fly from Edinburgh to Paris, where we stay for a few days. Then we get the train to Bordeaux. We collect a hire car there, and after exploring the area for a few days, drive to Biarritz. Then we move on to San Sebastian at some point, and make it our base for explorations & expeditions. Then back to Bordeaux, train back to Paris and ...

This is where it gets slightly tricky. The plan after that is to go to London/Oxford for a few days. So I thought, ok, I'll book Pinky a return on the train; I'll get a single flight from Edinburgh-Paris and get the train back to Edinburgh from London. Or whatever.

It turns out that while flying Edinburgh-Paris-London-Edinburgh (with a stay in London) will cost £266.20 (including taxes), flying one-way from Edinburgh to Paris will be £476.20 (including taxes). Yes, that's £201 just to avoid flying from Paris to London to Edinburgh. This sort of thing drives me into a Colonel Blimp-like frenzy of harrumphing: "Stuff and nonsense! How dare they!" etc. I remember something similar for train fares.

Which brings me to the next thing: I can't book any train tickets. Not the ScotRail sleeper, not GNER, not Eurostar, nothing. It's too soon. I'm being too impatient. Hold your horses, they cry, it's only July! September is months away yet.

So I haven't booked anything yet.

Tonight I might have a go at booking my flight to NZ next year.

:: foiled!

On Friday night, Bertie had a brilliant idea. Like most of his ideas, however, it contained a flaw.

The problem was how to get home with a hedgehog in his mouth. You could nearly hear the wheels turning as he stood there trying to work it out. He wanted to go home. But if he got anywhere near me I'd take the hedgehog off him. Ah ha! He'd go home alone. He sped past me and ran down the street -- just about the naughtiest thing he's done in a long while. He was so pleased with himself! "Ha ha! It worked! I'm home, and I still have the hedgehog!"

But here comes the flaw. He hadn't worked out how to get into the house. As he stood at the front door waiting to be let in I clipped on the lead, knocked the hedgehog out of his mouth with my foot and dragged him inside.

Damn! Damn damn damn!

The weather's still pretty awful. I went for a walk in the Pentland Hills today & got drizzled on. It's quite chilly too.

I have a new hobby: litter-picking. The woman who started the Cleanferry campaign dropped off my litter-picker the other day, and I've had a couple of sessions clearing up rubbish. It's astonishing how much there is, once you start picking it up.

:: binland

I should have taken a photo. On Tuesday, a council van arrived in our street and unloaded our nice new brown wheelie bins, especially for recycling garden waste. It was rubbish day, so all the green wheelie bins were already out. It was particularly spectacular given that they left a brown bin for each of the flats across the road -- the street was a sea of bins!

A neighbour later said she'd tried to talk them out of leaving bins for the flats -- the grounds are kept by contract gardeners rather than the owners themselves. But the council workers said they were just following orders. Some of the bins are still sitting out in the street -- there's nowhere to put them!

I'm very pleased with mine, and immediately did some weeding and trimming. Then the storm broke, and since then the rain has been lashing down almost without a break. The raspberries are just about to ripen, so it's been maddening to watch the canes being battered by gales. Wah!

On the work front I've decided to stop moaning and grizzling and whining and adopt more of a Positive Mental Attitude. I've always been an optimistic person, but lately work has been getting me down. Not any more! Realistically I have very little to complain about, and I'm taking positive action on the things that are wrong. I'll keep you posted on how it goes.

:: sorry 'bout that

What a time it's been. Work has just been insane, busy and stressful. I won't say much more about it here, suffice to say I bought lottery tickets today. I haven't been sleeping very well, then I sleep in and then have to bustle around getting everything done before work. Urgh.

A symptom of work stress is that I've become addicted to Big Brother. It's a cracker this year -- viewers called the police at one point! I know hardly anyone else who watches it. "What's the point?" sneered one chap. Hello?!? What's the point of Coronation Street? It's entertainment. Duh. Desmond Morris watches it.

One of the proofreaders the other day circled the word "hippest". Hip, hipper, hippest. "I've never come across it before," he said.

The QEII was in town the other day. First clue was a gaggle of elderlies at the bus stop, all dressed in shades of beige, white and stone. They were the lucky ones. The unlucky ones had decided to catch the train into Edinburgh. The ship is parked at Hound Point, and the passengers are ferried to the Hawes pier. Someone told them just to go up the steps behind Hawes Inn to get to the railway station. "I thought I was going to die!" gasped one lady I met while walking Bertie near Dalmeny. Neither she nor another couple I rescued could find the station, though they could hear the trains stopping there.

The weather has been wonderful, hot hot hot and sunny. Then yesterday it clouded over, and today it's pissing down with rain and cold enough to see your breath. I've had a couple of good walks (hood up, wishing I'd worn gloves), a hot bath and watched a bit of BB, and now I'm going to whip up some beef stroganoff. No idea why ... a whim in the supermarket. Fillet beef, mushrooms, sour cream and noodles, mmmmm. I haven't cooked it for probably 20 years.

:: Phew

Finally, a day off. Three days off, actually. It would have been five, but they're short-staffed, so I'm having to work on Sunday.

Right now I'm going to walk Bertie, then go shopping for a wedding present for a couple I've never met, but whose wedding celebration party I've been invited to, then I'm going to a film. I'm not sure which one ... but probably The Day After Tomorrow. It's had rubbish reviews, but I love a disaster movie. Either that or Troy. It's also had rubbish reviews, but I love an epic.

Then I might do some housework, mainly because Fiona's coming round tomorrow and the place is fairly grimy. The window-cleaner came this morning, so I need to at least clean the dog-snot off the inside of the windows.

:: terrierism

The first thing Ozzy did on arrival was to run straight under Bertie (yes, that's right, under) to his food bowl. Bertie's food bowl. And he stood there eating steadily while Colin handed over his luggage and we chatted. Bertie just stared in amazement. I finally had to haul Ozzy's nose out of the trough, at which point Bertie nipped in and finished off his dinner -- he doesn't usually eat much during the day and likes to leave himself a late-night snack. (The solution was to put Bertie's bowl on a high stool, and to give Ozzy some of Bertie's bikkies in his tiny wee dish.)

We had a walk and then it was bedtime. But hey, who can sleep in a new house? It's much too exciting! He barked at the neighbours arriving home at 1:30am, he barked at distant voices at 2am. At 4am he found Bertie's squeaky toys. It was like that the whole weekend: Ozzy manically excited by everything, Bertie so laid back he seemed comatose by comparison. When Bertie caught a hedgehog last night Ozzy's excitement went right off the meter. We were right under the bridge at the time, so his hysterical yipping could probably be heard in Edinburgh. He's a very cute dog, but man is he hard work.

Colin was picking him back up this evening -- a relief for me, and I imagine for Bertie too. He likes sleeping even more than I do!



In case you were wondering what Oz looks like -- he's the same kind of dog as Toto. Hence the name.

:: oz

Oz is staying the weekend! Oz is John and Penny's dog, a Border terrierist. He's very cute, and he and Bertie get along famously. John and Penny are in the US for their daughter's wedding (she's getting married in Las Vegas, in the Starlight Chapel), and Colin and Jenny are minding Oz -- but this weekend, Jenny's away and Colin is rescue-boating at a regatta all weekend.

I'm working on Sunday night, so Colin will let himself in to collect Oz.

Work is just insane, I'm so busy. I'm on top of things, but just barely. I'm having to make inhuman efforts not to burst into flames. I've got Saturday off, then back into the maelstrom again from Sunday to Wednesday. I was then due to have a gloriously long weekend, from Thursday to Monday, but am having to come in on the Sunday. Grrr.

That's all for now, I'll try and post pics of Oz and Bertie together, they look really cute.

:: the big blue

I finally finished painting my bedroom over the weekend and moved back in last night. It's very blue.





Also over the weekend I had a good go at the garden, front and back. I mowed and weeded and strimmed for hour after hour, and it's now looking reasonably cared-for, in a ragged sort of way. My mower doesn't have blades, it has a little plastic tag that whirrs around, and it leaves the grass looking a bit chewed. Also, the hedge is a bit wobbly -- I have no idea how people get their hedges looking so neat.

And finally, I went for lots of walks. The weather was lovely, warm and sunny.





The weekend's over, though, and I'm back to work tonight. It's going to be a very, very hard week. From Thursday I'll be on my own for a full week, with only Saturday off (normally there are at least two of us, and often three). The bonus is that from the following Thursday I'll be off until Tuesday -- a mini-holiday!

:: forgot to say

Bertie didn't need a biopsy -- the swelling's gone right down & is nearly normal. He's got another vet visit on Friday.

I was going to go sailing on Monday but it was too windy in the afternoon. Colin came over in the evening but when we got to the marina the red flag was up, meaning we'd be confined to the harbour area. There were three Wayfarers booked and a school group, so we decided against it. Apparently the waves were 3ft high out on the river. Ulp.