:: florian makes my day

I'm having a reasonably stressful day today filling in for my boss, but then a cheery young German who subscribes to the paper phoned up with a gem. He gets the paper by snail mail, so he'd only just caught up with our report on the "calling card" left by the Washington sniper: "Dear policeman, I am god".

"I don't know if you realise it, but you can read it backwards!" he gushed.

"Really."

"Yes, it says, 'dogma I man police read'. It's very interesting, isn't it?"

I laughed and laughed and laughed, then thanked him for brightening my day with his insight.

He wasn't bothered: "I know you probably get all kinds of crank calls!" he said, still cheerful.

His call really was a tonic, because the news all seems grim -- bombings, arrests, wider threats, the sniper still on the loose; even the director of the CIA is rattled.

I haven't killed my computer yet, but the new software is arriving tomorrow so I'll install it at the weekend and see if I can destroy it then. Ha ha. I had to get a new phone too, the old one has been playing up. It was extremely cheap and is very nasty and crackly to use. The new one is digital so should make for clearer conversations. Still haven't ordered a new sofa. I think about it every time I sit on the old one -- its bones are sticking out like an old horse.

Speaking of bony animals, Bertie has been acting up lately. He's started being aggressive to strange dogs. When I first got him he was timid and submissive, but as he's grown in confidence so he's become more bolshie. Yesterday we encountered a stray dog -- well, he's not stray exactly, he has a home, but he's let out to wander the streets on his own all day. So we met this dog and Bertie decided to challenge him. Nothing too physical, just lots of growling and shoving and posturing. And Bertie won! I was yelling at him to come, and once he'd driven off the other dog he came flying down the path, terrifically excited. He overshot me into the car park, and with me still yelling at him, went shooting past me back up the path. But now a jogger was coming along, and he understandably thought Bertie was running at him, so he stopped. Bad move! Bertie had lost his mind with all the yelling and running and beating the other dog, and started barking at the jogger. I told the guy to just keep running and he did, but he kept looking at Bertie, who took that as a challenge and followed him. "Keep your dog under control!" the guy snapped. I yelled at Bertie some more but didn't try and grab him -- he would have thought I was joining in the chase. Finally got him back and leashed.

Today we met a nice bouncy lab. His owner let him off the leash so he and Bertie could have a run around, and it degenerated into another growling, shoving match (also with lots of peeing). The other guy finally called it off after it looked like they weren't going to calm down. Bertie allowed himself to be removed from the scene -- he was about to lose the battle.

So -- I think I'm going to have to crack down harder on these challenges, otherwise he'll turn into a horrible bully. Oddly enough, his relationship with the dogs he met while he was a wimp hasn't changed at all.

And he's still scared of children, and sacks of onions, and street signs.