Grumble grumble grumble.

Last night I got home to a scene of devastation. Well ok, a mess. Bertie had chewed off his Very Expensive Bandage, and also torn up a magazine. There were bits of bandage everywhere (it had four layers, including the gauze), and he was still trailing the remnants, the bits that were so firmly taped on he couldn't get them off.

Grrr.

So I snipped off the tattered remains of the bandage and ripped another strip off the old sheet to bind up his wounds. He insisted on gnawing at it and licking his cuts, so I had to resort to smacking (sharp tap on the nose, nothing too brutal).

I forgot to set the alarm and didn't wake up until after the local vet's morning session had ended (10am). I phoned the Linlithgow branch and got a 3pm appointment. So we trailed all the way over there in the afternoon (it's only 15 minutes by car, but still...) and he was a major hit with everyone. "Aren't you lovely?" they cooed, "aren't you beautiful?" It was the same vet, Fiona, and she's a fan too. She did another bandage, purple again, four layers, and gave me a huge plastic head collar to stop him ripping it off. £20 please, kaching!

We raced home, and I fitted the collar. I didn't have time to take photos, so I'll have to put it on him again -- it has to be seen to be believed. He had to have a huge collar because his head is so long and he's very flexible. But because his head is also small, it has to be very tight so he can't get it off. The first problem came to light when he tried to turn round. Clonk. As soon as the giant cone hit the wall he stopped. I managed to coax him round and he approached his food dish. Clonk. Second problem: Even with the food dish right under the cone and his head right down, he can't reach the food, because the neck is too tight to let the cone slip back.

You've never seen such a sorry dog.

I'd already missed one bus and couldn't miss another, so I quickly took the collar off and told him (HAH!) not to chew off his new bandage. He probably started on it the minute I was out the door. If he has damaged it he's wearing the cone, even if it means him going hungry.